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Wednesday Night Quarterback, Week 1: Peter Strikes Again, and Other Stories

Let's be honest. We know Ryan Davis couldn't have done this himself.


I make a lot of jokes about people in WNQ. From everyone hating Jason to Drew enjoying penis, these are mostly jokes, perhaps with the slight sting of truth. We all do resent Jason’s cerebral fantasy football play style—at least when it’s working. Also, as a Urologist, one must presume Drew does, indeed, love the penis. Though just not in the way I tend to imply.

Something to not joke about: Peter’s ability to destroy a player’s knee. There were five (fantasy football eligible) players in the NFL last season to suffer cruciate ligament tears: Nate Keading, K (ACL), Jordan Shipley, WR (ACL), Jamaal Charles, RB (ACL), Tim Hightower, RB (ACL), and Kenny Britt, WR (ACL/MCL). Of those five players, Peter was actively starting THREE of those players when they went down: Keading, Charles, and Britt. That means Peter was related to 60% of the injured Knees of Fantasy Football Players, and 66% of all ligament tears.

This season, to start off another year of (undoubted) losing and failure, Peter, the Tonya Harding of Fantasy Football, took another crowbar to the knee of one of his starters: Fred Jackson suffered an LCL injury (though the MRI results were “nonconclusive”) and is out for 3 weeks or more. Really, is there an owner more scary than Peter? We should be begging him to trade us players from our favorite teams and send him all the asshats we want to put jinxes on. It’s no joke that Peter “Kneecapper” Emiley will be taking more defenseless players down this season. Let’s hope its not Tom Brady.

In other news, the league is, more or less, playing out as it should as of week 1. Jason, Scott, and Travis, all teams I expected to contend for the title, have wins under their belts (some more decisive than others, Scott). Teams expected to underperform this season (Ryan Good, Kim, and Peter) all notched losses. And those middle brow teams with dreams of greatness more or less split the difference, with Donel, Kim, and myself losing, while Godin and Drew pulled out some magic. Drew in particular, given his league high 116 points.

The big surprise of the week remains the Davis vs. Bohm matchup. Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

Kyle Bohm, lifetime record of 41-37-1 (even with that terrible computer drafted season last year), has finished 6th or better four out of five seasons. In his best season, he scored 1375 points over the course of thirteen weeks, and has an all time personal high score of 142 in a single week.

Ryan Davis, lifetime record of 3-10, was the overall disgrace of our first fantasy football season, finishing second to last after more or less bailing on everyone. He finished with 921 points total, a to this day all time low for the league, and has one, total, score above 100 in his single season with the league.

Ryan Davis was, for all intents and purposes, a set up to be destroyed this week by Buffalo. But somewhere along the way, that plan got derailed. In his 101-84 victory, Davis doubled his number of 100+ point games and scored 30 points above his previous per-game average. Kyle succeeded only in creating a lot of questions about whether or not last season was truly a fluke.

There are multiple variables in any fantasy football game. I don’t think Davis will get 16 points from his kicker every week, nor am I sure that Kevin Smith is a top 5 fantasy RB. Time will tell what to make of these two jokers over the next few weeks, but for now, let us tentatively congratulate Ryan Davis for not sucking.

Overall, though, this was not a pretty week for out FF league. Last year at this time, our league average 95 points per team during opening week; this year, we managed only 86 per team. It is hard for me to speculate, at this point, whether or not this is solely due to the higher number of teams leading to greater dilution of talent, or if we might simply be caught in a greater wave of diminishing FF gains from players. Also notable: this is the third straight year Jason and I have faced off in the opening week…and his first win. I had never noticed that nor planned it before. Do I smell a new tradition?

Finally, since my residency is three years long, September is my month to, you know, go out and interview for positions. So my WNQs will likely be shorter than usual this month. This is a good time, since it’s hard for me to pick out trends and laugh mercilessly at people with an n of 1 in all categories. Nobody knows anything. Except for Peter. Peter knows who will have their season ended next!

Finally, as of last notification from Ryan, no $$ has been received from Scott and Godin. Free Agent Auction budgets are reducing accordingly.

http://ichooseweswelker.blogspot.com

Bob