Well, we're one week closer to the Championship game, and I'm once again on an airplane flying across the country. That means it is time for more WNQ...or whatever I'm calling it now.
Bon Voyage
First and foremost, I'd like to bid farewell to Dane and Jason, who both fell this week on their way to a battle for 5th and 6th place.
The Jason/Travis game (Travis 133, Jason 93.4) was mostly a snoozer, but the score only tells half the story. Sure, The Usual Suspects beat Jewish Malificent by 40 points, but he was actually trailing by quite a bit going into the Monday night game where he stated the entire Bears offense and got one million points. It looked bad for Jason, on paper, before the game, and his worst fears were confirmed.
What does this mean? Well, we won't have a repeat champion, something only Scott has managed. Also, despite our best efforts, Jason has managed to remain relevant despite the $1 per FA rule. And while no one likes to be ousted in the first round of the playoffs (see: Rob, every season), 5th/6th place is nothing to scoff at.
For Travis, this confirms that, for another year, Travis will finish no worse than 4th, but whether or not he can break the Curse of the WASP is yet to be seen.
On the B side of the playoff draw, Dane and I actually had just about the closest game we may have ever seen in the playoffs. Going in to the Monday night game, Dane led by 1.2 points, after a 2 point stat correction swung by 0.7 point lead in his favor. I required 1.3 points from Witten to claim the win.
Witten caught exactly one pass (on what seemed like one target), which, thankfully, was for a touchdown, effectively propelling me to lose to Ryan Good.
For Dane, this season must still be considered a win. With what at least a large minority considered the worst draft, this playoff appearance represented a strong argument that he should remain a part of the league. That being said, a loss to me brings much dishonor to his family. In Asian cultures, I'm pretty sure Dane would need to kill himself (or at least go ronin) in the face of such disgrace.
On the flip side of this, both Peter and I are assured our Best Season Ever, as the worst I can do is 4th (which would be a tie for the best performance I've ever managed), while Peter has never before gotten this deep in the playoffs. Ironically, when we're both crushed this week we'll get to celebrate in the 3rd place game.
So, in parting to the departed, I leave them with a few words of hate:
Dane: you fought hard. Your team still sucks though. Bette luck next year. Assuming you have one.
Jason: Aren't you just the worst? I'm glad we have at least a few months respite from your Fantasy Football dominance. During the off season were going to vote for your FAA budget to be set to $0 immediately.
Lo and behold...the future!
Ill admit, I'm most enamored by the A side of the playoff draw. While this season does seem to still be Ryan Good's to lose, Travis's team is beginning to have a certain sense of inevitability surround it.
Travis has never won. I can't type those words enough. Doesn't that seem ridiculous? The winningest franchise in the history of our league hasn't managed to win the title? That's unpossible. He's our Peyton Manning; many, many, many heartbreaking losses followed by that inevitable victory where we say "duh, about time dumbass." Doesn't it feel like its time for him to finally do this thing?
Who can take this from him? Potentially the scariest other playoff team was Jason, whom he already dispatched. I would make Jason the NE Patriots in this analogy, but I don't want to sully the Patriots by associating them with pure FF evil. Now he gets to face Peter, who suddenly looks terrible. He's starting Montee Ball (who is really a roll of the dice at this point, likely worth 30 yds and praying for a TD) and M. Bennett, who has left little enough impression on me that I'm not sure what the M stands for. He's predicted for 91 points, which is 30 less than both myself and Ryan and still 6 less Han Travis, despite the fact that Travis doesn't have a starting QB in a slot. As Peter himself said, "I do have a nonzero chance of winning," which about sums it up. Or perhaps it is said best by Peter with this quote: "there are scenarios I can imagine where things go my way," with an emphasis on 'imagine.'
Meanwhile, on the B side / NFC of this analogy, Ryan Good should, by all accounts, make it to the championship game. A win from me would be unprecedented, and might accelerate the inevitable heat death of the universe. Neither of our teams scream 'talented,' though we've both got our upsides. While my loss to him seems preordained, I just can't feel excited about his ability to win/beat Travis ever. Like I said before, we're the two NFC teams playing for the chance to lose to Peyton Manning.
I also favor Travis because, as mentioned before, teams with Bye Weeks NEVER win the championship. This has happened zero times. It's relatively infrequent for these teams to even make the championship game. This gives me a slimmer of hope to beat Ryan, but really just seems to validate that Travis will take it all.
Travis, you see, is usually the team with the bye week. So in saying that teams with bye weeks never win the championship, we are really also saying "Travis never wins the championship." While Travis had made the playoffs as a wildcard in the past, this is a rare occurrence. The stars are aligning! WASPs of the world unite!
As the sole detractor from his inevitable victory, I must say: could you be more reliant on the Bears offense? The fact that a bad game by the Bears would lead to a blowout loss gives me some pause. But whatever.
Finally, did everyone see Travis bid $5 for every available RB, knowing full well Peter had $4 left and a great RB need? History rewards the ruthless.
Now for the part where I made odds on who wins based on no evidence:
Travis 7:2 ( + probability for wild card spot, being the best team left, inevitability, reviewer prediction ennui, ruthless FAA behavior, and general WASPy-ness, - probability for lack of precedent, possible reliance on a former Vandy QB, the unfortunate fact that the FF gods hate him)
Ryan Good 10:1 ( + probability for getting to face Rob in the semi finals, predestination due to Odd Year Success, general lack of assholeish behavior, best preseason record, - probability for being a top seed, peeing out of a window that one time during M1 year and making us all worry, likelihood of the universe to get bored with a Ryan/Travis finale, not being Travid)
Rob 40:1 ( + probability for being a wild card team, getting to avoid Travis for a large stretch of time, having Knowshon Moreno and not Montee Ball, the possibility of the FF Gods sticking a middle finger to everyone and showing how the game is random and pointless, - probability for being such a terrible person, for having the worst team remaining, for getting rid of Shane Vereen after he broke his arm in week 1 only to have to face him in the semifinals with literally every other Patriots offensive player in a body bag, and for not deserving to make the playoffs in the first place)
Peter 50:1 ( + probability for the possibility of the universe feeling bad for him. - probability for years of terrible karma, for having a pretty meh team, for having Montee Ball and not Knowshon Moreno, for having to play Travis and probably Ryan Good, and because the FF gods live off the delicious feast of the sounds of his whining about fantasy football injustice and the fine wine of the tears he cries into his pillow)
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