WNQ Week 4: Saturday Day Quarterback?

WNQ Week 4: Saturday Day Quarterback?

Clearly I am currently incapable of getting one of these posts out at anything that resembles a normal time. I have no excuses for this, only shame. Coincidentally, that is also how I feel about my fantasy football team, which is positively mediocre, with no foreseeable hope of recovery.

Top Thoughts from Week 4

1) Did you realize that we have zero 4-0 teams and zero 0-4 teams? We’ve got very little spread between the haves and the have nots of the world, which should give little execrable teams like mine a small comfort.

2) I dislike losing to Peter. I hate it. He’s such a smug bastard sometimes. However, I have no one to blame but myself, because the era of starting all Patriots and reliably winning games is over. I managed a combined 1.1 point from Julian Edelman, Stevan Ridley, and the Pats D/ST. So despite some good performances from Murray and Nelson (by sole shining lights in a sea of mediocrity), I just couldn’t cut it.

3) That being said, WTF Matt Asiata? Who told you to score 28 points? And when did Steve Smith suddenly start mattering? AAAAAAAH KARMA HATES ME.

4) How many teams score 121 points with -8 from their D/ST? It seems Jason may not be as dead as once imagined. I will point out that, with his top score being from Jamaal Charles this week, that makes three out of four weeks that Robot Jason had the top scoring player on the team. Just sayin’, you know, but maybe we should all autodraft.

5) Ryan Good so bad right now. If you took out Tony Romo from the equation of his team he’d bbe in the low 60s. His bench is terrible, and his only win is against me, so big whoop. Speaking of only wins, there are four one win teams, and two of them got their only win against me (Ryan and Peter). The other two one win teams of Kyle and myself…and I only beat Kyle, who by the transitive property of…math or whatever, must be the worst.

6) Which is not totally fair to Kyle, who scored 101.7 points this week. Something that we all know, but apparently Kyle did not, is that you never attempt to put up big points against Travis. He’ll always outscore you when it comes to that.

7) We’re going to have to discuss the “not starting a player” fine. Scott has talked to me about this at length, and he has a point. When we initially implemented the rule, it was because we had people who just didn’t actually play fantasy football, and thus had inactive teams taking up space in the league (Karen, Carissa/Annie, Nava, Phil, Godin, Ryan Davis v1.0). We have had very little problem with this over the past few years, and it mostly has come down to logistical mistakes (“I got outbid on the one D/ST I bid for on Saturday! Can I have a special draft to fill this?” – Jason every other week) or tactical decisions.

Scott pulled one of these last week, being unwilling to drop his baller Seahawks D/ST when they were on bye, instead opting to just muscle through with no defense. Technically, this warrants a fine.

The argument I’ve heard is that being able to pull a player or not play one is a calculated risk the owner is willing to take. Take the example of when you’re up by one point going into MNF, and the only player you have left is your kicker. By not playing a kicker, you definitely win; by pulling him, you could theoretically lose if he misses 2 FGs. Should a manager be allowed to sacrifice possible PF (and thus, theoretically, a better tiebreaker for making the playoffs) in order for a weekly win? Should a manager be able to decide that dropping their D/ST (due to the decreased bench size) is too unsavory a proposition? I’d say yes, but I believe we’ll have to vote on this at the end of the year.

8) Dear Drew,

Thanks for not trading LeSean McCoy to me when I offered two starting RBs after Week 2. He’s been terrible, and I would have been very resentful.

I appreciate you always thinking about my feelings.

Love,

Rob

9) Donel:

WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH DELANIE WALKER? TRADE HIM TO ME IMMEDIATELY. YOU’VE ALREADY GOT JIMMY GRAHAM; HOW SELFISH CAN YOU BE? THIS IS LIKE, TRAVIS LANGLEY WITH EIGHT STARTING RUNNING BACKS SELFISH. I HATE YOU SO MUCH

P.S.: 17 points from your kicker? Who did you fuck to get those points? I need his/her number immediately

10) A recent conversation I had with Ryan Davis:

Davis: I’m giving up on Week 4.

Me: Huh?

Davis: I’ve got Peyton Manning, Percy Harvin, Michael Floyd, and Wes Welker out that week. I 

have no QB or WRs. I refuse to drop them. I’m just going to take the loss.

Me: That sucks.

Then, after 102.3 point and 23.3 from Randall Cobb (!!!!!!!!!), I came to the only reasonable conclusion I could: Stupid Davis.

11) -10 points from a D/ST is a lot to ask for. It essentially means the team gave up maximal yards and points without every accomplishing anything…not even a turnover. The fact that Kim’s Falcons D/ST managed this is amazing. The fact that she lost by 10 points: priceless

12) I’m continuing to not talk about Dane’s team.

13) Before I wrap this up, let’s discuss Scott’s team for a second. I want to go on record and say there is no way Scott can maintain at this current pace and make the playoffs. His 325.8 PF is the second lowest in the league, only beating Peter the Terrible at 316.1. His PA, meanwhile, is 279.3. That is literally 53 points less than his nearest competitor. Kyle has literally had 132 more points scored against his team than Scott has. There is no way this pace can be maintained. This lucky streak has the potential to match the core Curse of Peter years, where he lost every game by five points regardless of if he scored 50 points or 150. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t watching Scott’s team more closely than any other team, including my own.

Ryan Cup

Since I missed last week, I’ll retroactively add the schelacking Ryan Good would have given Davis, (106.6 to 66.5) but that still brings the battle to 3-1 for Ryan Davis, as his week 4 score of 102.3 beats Good’s 88.1. If I were Good, I would be super nervous about this meaningless statistic!