Week 7: WNQ Pt II:Rivalries
You’ll probably never believe this, but I actually had Part II of this week’s WNQ done relatively on time this week. While I was flying to Orlando I actually had it all typed up on my iPad before I even landed. Feeling satisfied with my work, I took a quick nap…since my flight had departed at 6 am. When I got to my hotel, I planned to hook into the wireless and post it up. Only when I opened my bag I realized my iPad wasn’t there. It was still in the front pocket of my seat on the plane.
Of course, United Airlines was unhelpful. All there were able to tell me is that after dropping me off the plane was off to “somewhere in Mexico.” Translation: iPad is dead (or at least sold on the black market and refurbished from drug dealing purposes).
But enough whining from me. This post is supposed to be about our first rivalry week! (I think it was probably better the first time. But hopefully it's still good
As some of you might remember, I handcrafted the schedule this year with the goal of creating some rivalries. I had tried this in the past with the whole “divisions” thing, but no one really cares about winning within their division when it does nothing for their overall ability to make the playoffs.
So I took a note from the Big Ten. The Big Ten created rivalries from, well, existing rivalries. In that same fashion, I tried to pick logical parings that would have something to fight about. Some of these rivalries ended up better than others. For example, Jon has less history in our league than everyone else and thus had less time to develop strong intra-FF rivalries. Kim, also, provided a challenge, being above some of our petty med school rivalries for the most part. Occasionally I stretched it. Think Nebraska-Penn State in the Big Ten: some of these rivalries were manufactured to sell tickets.
As if bragging rights weren’t enough, I shall also give out trophy points for these! The ultimate, useless aspect of the ESPN league that means nothing has been neglected for too long. I will make sure we use every last drop of resource that ESPN has to offer.
The Overanalyzer Cup: Rob vs. Scott
Scott and I have, over the years, crossed paths many times in battle for drafting players, battle for free agents, battle for playoffs spot, etc. This, at least in part, is because of our individual overuse of the same resources. We’re both big TMR fans, and though I can’t feign to know everything Scott does to prepare for fantasy football, I constantly find myself at odds with him. When I thought I could steal Arian Foster late in the auction two years ago at bargain basement prices, Scott had the same idea, leading to a bidding war. Every time I think I’ve found a player no one wants, Scott finds him. The worst part about it is that he happens to do everything better. See his two championship to my zero. CURSE YOU SCOTT BAKER. You will be destroyed.
What this means to their (our) seasons: Scott’s team is (fortunately) in disarray. My team is awash with lost potential. Due to our respective terrible PF, we each need a big week to help give us some edge in general tiebreakers. Also, though Scott has a tie to his name to help give him in the edge, I have no such luxury, and will likely need one more win than the majority of the pack to make the playoffs. A win in week 7 could potentially save each of our seasons.
The Plate of Eternal Damnation: Jon vs. Peter
Anyone who has been reading these posts knows about PES. As the originator of the disease, Peter has moved to the tertiary stage of unluckiness. Constant player injuries, repeated close losses, and general bad will against him in general…the list of tertiary PES symptoms go on and on. Jon, meanwhile, being the most recently infected, has the chance to go toe to toe with the man who infected him! With his current downward trajectory, his chance of full on PES—a terminal illness—is dangerously high.
What this means for their season: Quite a bit. As current bottom feeders, both of them need a win if they want any chance of breaking out of the league’s ghetto. Also, since we’re all so tightly mixed, a single win means a lot right now, and advancement opportunities are high.
The Primary Care Bear: Ryan vs. Kim
Fine. Maybe I’m stretching. But let’s look at this: of all of the people we hang out with (in any form), Ryan and Kim are the only people I know who moved on to be PCPs. While the rest of us will be rolling in the big bucks, they’ll be rubbing runny noses, diagnosing influenza, and living in a double wide. Who wouldn’t be angry about this? GET YOUR RAGE ON.
What this means for their season: Kim is in a fairly good place to make the playoffs if she can maintain a .500 record, thanks to her tie. Every win counts. Ryan is, well, terrible, and needs wins desperately.
The Beast Bowl: Kyle vs. Donel
I think we can all agree that Kyle and Donel are beasts. Donel is the man who found the only research lab in the recreation center so he wouldn’t need to be far from his precious barbells. And anyone present for Kyle repeatedly crushing grown men into the snow (while half-naked, unfortunately) in a totally unnecessary wrestling tournament will have no questions to his status as a beast. But there can only be one.
What this means for their season: Neither Kyle nor Donel are terrible…well, maybe Donel is a bit terrible. But as is the norm this season…it’s kind of anyone game.
The Roommate Ring: Travis vs. Jason
Nostalgia time: Remember Travis and Jason living in the same apartment? For four years running? I do. Two southern boys (so what if Jason is from Ohio? IT DOESN’T WORK FOR THIS STORY) transplanted to the cold north, united against your standard Midwesterners for four years before getting married to their respective southern women and making four billion dollars each. It’s all very heartwarming. What people may no remember is when Travis and Jason got drunk at Alex Kuo’s house and had a wrestling match that ended in a bloody nose for Jason. Their rivalry might be a little more on the friendly side, but I’m hoping that bringing up this old dirt will make them want to smash each others face in.
What this means for their season: This one’s simple: they’re essentially fighting for a bye week. Though it’s still early and anything can happen, they each have an inside track for the playoffs and, potentially, a guaranteed 4th or higher finish.
The Frenemy Plaque: Ryan Davis vs. Drew
Nostalgia time part II: now this is a rivalry we can get behind. We’re all familiar with the Ryan and Drew bromance. When Drew first came to Ann Arbor he slept on Ryan Davis’ couch for a month. This blossomed into a cross-nation friendship that visited multiple states and led to (I assume) mutual groomsmanship in each other’s weddings. But, lest we forget, there have been some rough times in the friendship of Davis and Drew. The fights. The Tears. Pizza-Slap-Face-Gate. Ryan vs. Drew is a tale as old as time. WHO SHALL WIN?
What this means for their season: Playoffs are within both of their grasps. Another win for Drew means more distance between him and the pack. A win for Ryan could bring Drew back to the group…and elevate Ryan near first place.
Of course, United Airlines was unhelpful. All there were able to tell me is that after dropping me off the plane was off to “somewhere in Mexico.” Translation: iPad is dead (or at least sold on the black market and refurbished from drug dealing purposes).
But enough whining from me. This post is supposed to be about our first rivalry week! (I think it was probably better the first time. But hopefully it's still good
As some of you might remember, I handcrafted the schedule this year with the goal of creating some rivalries. I had tried this in the past with the whole “divisions” thing, but no one really cares about winning within their division when it does nothing for their overall ability to make the playoffs.
So I took a note from the Big Ten. The Big Ten created rivalries from, well, existing rivalries. In that same fashion, I tried to pick logical parings that would have something to fight about. Some of these rivalries ended up better than others. For example, Jon has less history in our league than everyone else and thus had less time to develop strong intra-FF rivalries. Kim, also, provided a challenge, being above some of our petty med school rivalries for the most part. Occasionally I stretched it. Think Nebraska-Penn State in the Big Ten: some of these rivalries were manufactured to sell tickets.
As if bragging rights weren’t enough, I shall also give out trophy points for these! The ultimate, useless aspect of the ESPN league that means nothing has been neglected for too long. I will make sure we use every last drop of resource that ESPN has to offer.
The Overanalyzer Cup: Rob vs. Scott
Scott and I have, over the years, crossed paths many times in battle for drafting players, battle for free agents, battle for playoffs spot, etc. This, at least in part, is because of our individual overuse of the same resources. We’re both big TMR fans, and though I can’t feign to know everything Scott does to prepare for fantasy football, I constantly find myself at odds with him. When I thought I could steal Arian Foster late in the auction two years ago at bargain basement prices, Scott had the same idea, leading to a bidding war. Every time I think I’ve found a player no one wants, Scott finds him. The worst part about it is that he happens to do everything better. See his two championship to my zero. CURSE YOU SCOTT BAKER. You will be destroyed.
What this means to their (our) seasons: Scott’s team is (fortunately) in disarray. My team is awash with lost potential. Due to our respective terrible PF, we each need a big week to help give us some edge in general tiebreakers. Also, though Scott has a tie to his name to help give him in the edge, I have no such luxury, and will likely need one more win than the majority of the pack to make the playoffs. A win in week 7 could potentially save each of our seasons.
The Plate of Eternal Damnation: Jon vs. Peter
Anyone who has been reading these posts knows about PES. As the originator of the disease, Peter has moved to the tertiary stage of unluckiness. Constant player injuries, repeated close losses, and general bad will against him in general…the list of tertiary PES symptoms go on and on. Jon, meanwhile, being the most recently infected, has the chance to go toe to toe with the man who infected him! With his current downward trajectory, his chance of full on PES—a terminal illness—is dangerously high.
What this means for their season: Quite a bit. As current bottom feeders, both of them need a win if they want any chance of breaking out of the league’s ghetto. Also, since we’re all so tightly mixed, a single win means a lot right now, and advancement opportunities are high.
The Primary Care Bear: Ryan vs. Kim
Fine. Maybe I’m stretching. But let’s look at this: of all of the people we hang out with (in any form), Ryan and Kim are the only people I know who moved on to be PCPs. While the rest of us will be rolling in the big bucks, they’ll be rubbing runny noses, diagnosing influenza, and living in a double wide. Who wouldn’t be angry about this? GET YOUR RAGE ON.
What this means for their season: Kim is in a fairly good place to make the playoffs if she can maintain a .500 record, thanks to her tie. Every win counts. Ryan is, well, terrible, and needs wins desperately.
The Beast Bowl: Kyle vs. Donel
I think we can all agree that Kyle and Donel are beasts. Donel is the man who found the only research lab in the recreation center so he wouldn’t need to be far from his precious barbells. And anyone present for Kyle repeatedly crushing grown men into the snow (while half-naked, unfortunately) in a totally unnecessary wrestling tournament will have no questions to his status as a beast. But there can only be one.
What this means for their season: Neither Kyle nor Donel are terrible…well, maybe Donel is a bit terrible. But as is the norm this season…it’s kind of anyone game.
The Roommate Ring: Travis vs. Jason
Nostalgia time: Remember Travis and Jason living in the same apartment? For four years running? I do. Two southern boys (so what if Jason is from Ohio? IT DOESN’T WORK FOR THIS STORY) transplanted to the cold north, united against your standard Midwesterners for four years before getting married to their respective southern women and making four billion dollars each. It’s all very heartwarming. What people may no remember is when Travis and Jason got drunk at Alex Kuo’s house and had a wrestling match that ended in a bloody nose for Jason. Their rivalry might be a little more on the friendly side, but I’m hoping that bringing up this old dirt will make them want to smash each others face in.
What this means for their season: This one’s simple: they’re essentially fighting for a bye week. Though it’s still early and anything can happen, they each have an inside track for the playoffs and, potentially, a guaranteed 4th or higher finish.
The Frenemy Plaque: Ryan Davis vs. Drew
Nostalgia time part II: now this is a rivalry we can get behind. We’re all familiar with the Ryan and Drew bromance. When Drew first came to Ann Arbor he slept on Ryan Davis’ couch for a month. This blossomed into a cross-nation friendship that visited multiple states and led to (I assume) mutual groomsmanship in each other’s weddings. But, lest we forget, there have been some rough times in the friendship of Davis and Drew. The fights. The Tears. Pizza-Slap-Face-Gate. Ryan vs. Drew is a tale as old as time. WHO SHALL WIN?
What this means for their season: Playoffs are within both of their grasps. Another win for Drew means more distance between him and the pack. A win for Ryan could bring Drew back to the group…and elevate Ryan near first place.
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